Report Suggests Time Gap Between Winners of Iron Cross and Juggernaut "Negligible In Relation to Entire Age of Planet"

The Juggernaut Elite Squad comprised of Pookie, Gorka and Thor descended once again upon the hallowed ground of Pennsylvania’s epic Iron Cross race. The crew narrowly missed the podium by an hour prompting commentary by several renowned scientists in the field of quantum time mechanics.

“In the grand scheme of things—we’re talking about the billions of years since our planet was created—this margin of loss is negligible,” said one highly trusted scientist. “It’s easy to conceive of a scenario in which a small disruption in the historic timeline propels the Juggernaut to victory. A butterfly flaps its wings at the equator, some other stuff happens, tailwind… you know, that kind of thing. Basically, in an alternate universe the Juggernaut wins 60% of the time, all the time.”

Not feeling cheated by the results in the slightest, the Juggernaut — upon completing a race with a style that many locals deemed “courageous, unparalleled, and inspiring to people of all creeds”—did their best to burn Williamsport to the ground with a blistering pace of beer consumption. While many of the days winners were at home mired in a deep sense of emptiness that found them probing the deepest caverns of the meaning of life, the Juggernaut celebrated long into the night as they so often do.

Beer/booze/meat handups were created with the Juggernaut in mind.