Eggtooth Jones at the Stoopid 50

Excerpt from A Field Guide to Juggernaut Spotting:

Eggtooth Jones

An extremely rare sighting - the red-tufted eggtooth as seen on the Stoopid 50 course. The youngest of all Juggs in terms of elapsed time out of the womb, the oldest in spiritual grandeur. A truly remarkable specimen. 

Species: Non-migratory human
Plumage: Crimson in color; prominent display; useful in territorial battles with other males
Call: Sounds like the name of your favorite band spoken in a dismissive tone
Range: Mid-Atlantic centering on greater Hyattsville region
Typical Feed: Gu packs and beer